So let’s come right out and say it; your editrix, in a fit of house-moving demob madness, has given me the keys to this here blog for a while. His reasons for this remain a mystery, as indeed do mine for pleading with him to let me do this. I have blogged before; I’ve even written a proper thing that was in a newspaper and everything (and not just the self-published, or self-written-on-some-printer-paper-and-handed-out, one I did when I was in nine.) So what’s the problem, I hear you ask?

It’s simple. I know nothing about Challenger tennis. I’ve got nothing against it, I’ve just historically preferred my tennis played, you know, by people I’d heard of and stuff. But I’d never have got anywhere in life if I’d let total and utter ignorance stop me, would I? (NB: please note I haven’t got anywhere in life.)

So let’s get on with it and keep our eye on what’s going on this week – the qualifying for the Australian Open, which starts so imminently that I’m tempted to speculate I’ve left this a tiny bit late, but never mind. The knicker-droppingly gorgeous and brilliant Christina Marie is keeping us updated on happenings in Glasgow. And all those of you (and there are only those of you) who know infinitely more about these players, who are on the ground at qualifying, who have anything or nothing to share – please let me know. Room for all! I am a giant ear, waiting for your comments of niceness.

Questions? Abuse? The inevitable corrections? You can always shout me at or via my twitter, newballsplease. In the meantime, just think of me serenely keeping an eye on all the madness, like an all-knowing, sleep-drived paragon of Britishness …

I’ll be back in literally seconds with today’s OOP in Melbourne. As Sue Barker famously never said … let’s rock this bitch.