I one hundred percent think that therapists should send their patients to Futures tournaments. I mean, nothing higher than Futures, since we all know that eventually, tennis causes alcoholism, but Futures… five hours of that today and I’m zen as fuck. Calm as a cucumber.
Might as well enjoy it, since when I return to Queen’s I’ll return to shaking and crying in the practice court bushes any time Roddick approaches the net.

My first match of the day was Mathieu Rodrigues (FRA) vs Kenny De Schepper (FRA). Uhh, I don’t know what’s happened to the French lately, but their names have gotten weird as hell. What ever happened to names like Simon, Monfils, Benneteau, Gasquet? They don’t even look French. The players I mean, their faces. It’s all very confusing. Confusing, and sexy.
I turned round at some point to see Eaton win his match behind me. I wasn’t even aware that he was playing, so I felt guilty and pleased simultaneously. Yet interestingly enough, I don’t think that counts as a guilty pleasure.
One to think about…


Mathieu Rodrigues. Like Verdasco, but much more accessible/corruptible.

Similar to Verdasco, I didn’t have very high hopes for this boy. Originally I did, but when I arrived and he was immediately 0-2 down, I figured today maybe just wasn’t his day. His somewhat less attractive countryman was stealing the show, and I don’t even know how. Because I don’t know much about tennis. I’m not going to lie, the match as a whole just wasn’t very exciting, and if it wasn’t two French players, I probably would have just walked away. Rodrigues became a profanity mumbling, racquet throwing fool and I left halfway through the second set to see Evans.

Also, I don’t mean to sound like a total girl, but I really do want to stress that those photographs do not do his face justice.
He had dark brown eyes the size of MY FISTS.
Anway, back to the tennis…

Evans was clearly too angry to bother giving anyone a match to watch. He powered through this like (…a racoon came into my head. He was much more powerful than a racoon), basically like someone who did not want to have his time wasted by Sablinsky and his mediocre attempts to beat him. I did love the fact that despite being 6-1 3-0 up, he still got all pissy with himself. Even when he’s pleased, he sounds like he’s so happy he has to go kneecap someone.

I ran, really slowly, almost at walking pace, to  Nicolas Rosenzweig (FRA) vs Alexandre Sidorenko (FRA), because I figured it would be the last I would see of Rosenzweig. And it was. Despite him making Sidorenko run around the court and do 360 degree turns in order to get the ball back, it wasn’t enough. Sidorenko won 6-4 6-1. Rodrigues stood behind me as soon as I arrived at this match, which I figured meant we had an upset on our hands. And we did, the 8th seed was beaten 6-3 6-2 by De Schepper. Truly gutted.

Sidorenko looked like a member of an Italian mob and did not seem pleased about how many times he was taken to deuce. Luckily, he didn’t team up with Evans and turn Scotstoun into a bloodbath. He just won the point instead. And then the match.

I have written in my super professional John Lewis ‘Value’ notepad, ‘Baker is not doing well. Not at all. 0-5, to be precise, is how not well he is doing.’
This was a complete and utter fabrication. When I went to his match, he’d won the first set and was on serve in the second. I should keep my glasses on at all times. He won the match in the end, 6-1 6-3. Good crowd behind him which was lovely to see, and he walks like James Blake, which is frankly hilarious to see, at any time.

Sweet baby Jesus, I saw more matches today than I thought. Next up was catching the end of (the ever so frightening) Uladzimr Ignatik (BLR) vs Baptiste Dupuy (FRA). A fantastic match, I wish I saw more of it. I caught the beginning, where Ignatik, the top seed, was 0-3 down. He still managed to clinch the first set. And the second, much to Dupuy’s defeated bemusement. He just kept looking up at Rodrigues and saying things in French, shrugging his shoulders, and laughing. The match was Ignatik’s for the taking in the end, that’s clearly how he’s managed to become the top seed. Able to fight back from 0-3 down and take advantage when the opponent might still be producing some decent shots, but mentally has given the match away.
I wasn’t pleased. Because I found Ignatik terrifying. Just because you’ve got the power, doesn’t mean you have to force all of it into every single shot you make. Bloody hell, nearly took somebody’s eye out.

One more!
Eaton/Slabinsky (GBR) vs Lamasine/Olivetti (FRA). Eaton was fantastic, and I’m not just saying that because he’s tall and has facial hair. He really dominated the match when they needed the points and both him and Slabinsky had a ton of energy between them, really great to watch. It was taken to a match tiebreak which they won 10-6. They would have won it even better than that, had a mother and child not decided to arrive and sit down during match point.

Pointless things I noticed today…

  • A man who looked like a healthy cross between Matthew Gray Gubler, and Mike Bryan. A strange combination, but nontheless a combination that works.
  • Dupuy looks like Wes Anderson. But older. And just generally worse.
  • I am incredibly intrigued by how heart wrenchingly beautiful Eaton is off court, yet averagely rubbish on court. The maths just doesn’t add up. It’s meant to be the other way around.
  • People were a lot nicer today. A French man was asking me all about my photography, and a lady tried to make conversation but I was too busy staring at Rodrigues.
  • Ignatik is a fucking psycho. He reminded me of Viktor Krum, who I realised after I made the connection, is also Bulgarian. Or he would be, if he was a real person.
    (just been informed that Ignatik is in fact from Belarus. Good research skills there on my part…)

And so I leave you, with Evans looking angry.