In the temporal order that best matches up with the Earth’s rotation (thus ensuring you read the most timely information first – don’t say I don’t take anything less than exquisite care of you, dear readers!):
Remember how I said Rajeev Ram was a winnable match on hard courts for 2011 Challenger Tennis Player To Watch Tsung-Hua Yang? Well, you shouldn’t. With crap tips like that one, you shouldn’t be committing any of my drivel to your precious memory. Ram won 6-7(7) 6-3 6-0. Two consecutive breaks to start the match, then Ram up a soon-relinquished break in the first, and the 19 year-old took the tiebreak on his third set point. On serve until 3-2 in the second, and then Ram won 9 of the last 10 games, with 75 percent of return points won in the third set (even with Yang serving 50 percent). Not too sure what happened there. But good win for the Raj, who’ll meet 5th seeded Lukas Rosol in the 2nd round, himself a 7-6(6) 7-6(5) winner over Rik de Voest.
Impatient wildcard Michael Yani finally got on the court to administer a 6-1 7-6(4) first round dismantling of nouveau Zealander Artem Sitak. Second seeded Go Soeda saved a set point in the first before defeating the inquisitive Freddie Nielsen 7-6(7) 6-3, while third seed Paolo Lorenzi didn’t even bother saving the set point he faced in the second set, winning the match in three instead, 6-4 3-6 6-3. Different strokes…
Seventh seed Thiago Alves was rudely double-sticked by Tatsuma Ito (I bet they were thunder sticks, too) while Swiss qualifier Michael Lammer forewent the second “m” in his surname to lose a third set 1-6 to Ivo Klec. And not only did he lose the third set, but also the match! Shocking, I know, but totally true.
Brought to you today by our kind and graciously-blogging host, Harri Heliovaara, who is to Reunion Island what Mr. Rourke was to Fantasy Island (if Mr. Rourke blogged, that is – which he very well may have, on Fantasy Island) (Vincent Millot, of course, is playing the role of Tattoo all week):
“If today’s match should be described in one word, it would be the heat,” writes Harri (yo, Double H, that’s two words, buddy! No worries – I blame Google Translate. As you were saying…), “According to locals, this was the hottest summer day, and the match was, moreover, even the hottest days of the time between one and three.” On such a summer’s day, Helio defeated Canada’s Pierre-Ludovic Duclos, 3-6 6-1 6-1. He’ll face sixth seed Yuri Schukin in the next round, whom he describes thusly (according to the mischievous GT): “Schukin is at its best from the rear, and his basic compliance are secure and smooth.” You know, I’ve heard that about him! (Schukin beat Alexander Peya 7-5 6-0, by the way). Other results on the day:
Daniele Giorgini d Niels Desein 7-5 6-4, Andreas Haider Maurer d Fritz Wolmarans 7-6(4) 7-6(14) (FOURTEEN!), Augustin Gensse continues his WATCH Listworthy play and beat Philipp Oswald 2 & 2, while  Edouard Roger-Vasselin put the kibosh on the fabbulousity that is Thomas Fabbiano 6-7(1) 6-3 6-1.
A Very Harri Reunion
Germans, Germans, everywhere – at least in the winners circle today, that is. Are you a player in Heilbronn who played on this Wednesday? If so, I’ll tell you your fortune: if you’re not German, you lost. That’ll be 50 dollars, please.
1st round results:
 Tobias Kamke d [Q] Alexandre Sidorenko 6-2 7-5
Matthias Bachinger d  Denis Gremelmayr 6-1 6-0
 Michael Berrer d [Q] Yannick Mertens 6-2 6-1
Bastian Knittel d Andi Beck 6-2 6-2
Dominik Meffert d Ruben Bemelmans 7-5 6-1
 Daniel Brands d [W] Peter Gojowczyk 6-3 6-2
Too many friggin’ results for a Wednesday. Here’s what I feel you need to know:
Top seeded Alejandro Falla initially struggled but ultimately beat wildcarded Colombian countryman Eduardo Struvay 6-7(5) 6-2 6-2. Qualifier Fernando Romboli will never be beaten again. He beat the only other Colombian remaining, Carlos Salamanca 4-6 5-2 ret. Of all the homeboys, only Alejandro is Falla-proof, yo. (So sorry.) Romboli has now lost 7 matches in his last 47 times on court. Weep for his career. Also, the ATP-ularly upwardly mobile 22 year-old Andres Molteni upset seventh seed Daniel Munoz De La Nava, whose name loose translates into “Moon Over My Hammy” (warning: it does no such thing), 4-6 6-3 6-3.
Good Lord, I’ve been busting on Reunion Island all week (out of love, of course), when it’s the Hawaii event that should be bearing the brunt of my vitriol. What a traveshamockery! People all over the World Wide Web being forced to read the tea leaves of tomorrowday’s Orders of Play in order to suss results, in lieu of scores, streams, or Harri Heliovaara. At least we have the Amazingly Blogging Finn (who seriously writes more while playing in an event than I do when I’m sitting home and watching them) keeping us abreast of all the French territorial action. In Honolulu, no one is keeping us a grass skirt, let alone abreast.
Some outcomes sussed from the US-TeA leaves (this just in: draw updated! I knew taking forever to write this article would pay dividends!) –
 Mikey Russell d [Q] Woong-Sun Jun 4-6 6-1 6-4
Nick Monroe d Kevin Kim 6-2 7-6(2)
Vasek “Nothing Is Im” Pospisil d Greg Oullette 6-1 6-3 (take that, Milos! Who’s your uber-Canuck now?!)
 Tim Smyczek d [Q] Luka Gregorc 6-3 6-2 (USA F1 champ goes down)
 Ryan Sweeting d [Q] Olivier Sajous 7-6(2) 6-0 (USA F1 finalist, ditto)
Greg Jones d [W] Devin Britton 6-4 6-4 (D.Britt can’t catch a break)
Ryler DeHeart d [W] Jeremy Tweedt 6-3 7-5
 Ryan Harrison d [Q] Ti Chen 6-1 6-2 (Ti Chen him a lesson)
 Bobby Reynolds d Sam Groth 3-6 6-3 6-3 (f’ing tourist)
[W] Austin Krajicek d Michael Venus 6-4 6-1
Alex Kuznetsov d Michael McClune 7-6(2) 7-6(3) (see “D-Britt”, above)
Philip Bester d  Greg Zemlja 7-5 6-1 (the password is: “jet lag”)
 Jesse Witten d Daniel Yoo 6-3 6-2 (both last seen on Court 2 in Tamarac)
[W] Dennis Lajola d Pablo Martin-Adalia 6-4 6-4
Roman Borvanov d Matt Reid 6-3 6-2
 Robert Kendrick d Hiroki Kondo 6-1 6-0
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