Tag Archive: Alexandre Sidorenko


I want the French one to win.

Kenny De Schepper (FRA) vs Alexandre Sidorenko (FRA)

I arrived late, this time with absolutely no excuse. I called Scotstoun in the morning, asking for the Order Of Play, although they didn’t quite believe me when I told them that it was in fact not up on the website. Because you know, I just get kicks out of calling people up and pretending they’ve made a minor error.

So, I knew the start times, I purposely didn’t go out the night before, and I still arrived at 4-4. I was immediately reminded that Sidorenko was the one who looks like a member of some sort of Russian mob. He’ll start with your thumbs.


A few other things I immediately noticed on arrival:

  • It was very, very quiet. Blissfully quiet. The tournament is generally very loud throughout the week because it’s an indoor hall, lots of chumps and line judges shouting at the same time, lots of players screaming out in anger, and the spectators just generally walking and talking as they please. But today, silence.
  • Sharky.
  • There were actually a lot of people there. There were people in the stands who weren’t coaches, other players, or me. Actual normal people from Glasgow who came to watch the tennis. I liked this for about 4 seconds before they began to get on my nerves.

De Schepper broke at 5-5 to take the first set 7-5. Sidorenko woefully mumbled something in French and sat down, looking frightening as ever.

I had a DIE HARD SIDORENKO FAN sitting behind me for this match, who taught me many a thing about my future as a tennis fan. For example, I now know never to shout ‘ALLEZ!’, because as a Scottish person, it sounds fucking ridiculous. Also, it is not necessary to shout ‘OUI!’ if you are trying to convey your delight at a shot. They still understand ‘Yes’, and again, you’re Scottish, so it doesn’t even sound like you’re saying ‘YES!’ anyway. Shush.

I tried really, really hard to find any sort of like, techniques, or something, that they were doing. All I could really come up with or notice was that De Schepper was coming up with a hell of a lot of impressive winners, where as Sidorenko seemed to just wait around for him to make a mistake, usually having to take him to a long rally (something I hadn’t seen much of this week until the final). Both were pretty decent servers, too. I mean, De Schepper is… uh, really tall. His height doesn’t appear to be on the internet anywhere. I wrote on my big girl notepad that I’d like to know what the ace count from both of them was.

And then, something exciting happened.
I spotted Mathieu Rodrigues. For about three seconds, and then he disappeared.
5 games or so later, he still hadn’t resurfaced. I wondered if I was hallucinating low ranked French tennis players again. But voila! He appears with a friend and sits directly in front of me.
I was momentarily distracted at 4-5 due to attempting to read his texts over his shoulder, hoping that they read ‘OMG that girl is here, should I propose now or later?’. I snapped out of it when De Schepper smashed a ball into the net and looked genuinely frightened and confused about it.

De Schepper broke at 5-5 again, thanks to a painfully cruel net cord. One of those ones where the ball ever so slowly rolls over and there’s nothing you can do about it but cry and hope you’re dreaming.
“That’s pish.”, says the crowd.

De Schepper wins 7-5 7-5, raises his arms in victory and walks to the net to shake hands. A photo opportunity that I missed thanks to Rodrigues’ mate’s head.

Ann Widdecombe ran on court and just started giving people teddy bears.

Kenny is feigning appreciation of his rubbish prize rather well. Alexandre, on the other hand, was not impressed. Rodrigues was absolutely adorable at this point, as he kept making De Schepper laugh while he was supposed to be paying attention to the announcer and other important ceremonial things.

Cheer up, Sid.



I stayed for some of the women’s doubles final, simply because Sharky was chumping. Unfortunately, my battery ran out a few games in, and I left shortly after.
A very successful week at the tennis overall. Not so much for the British, but for the French. Good enough for me.

Teodora Mircic, I think.

I hope you have enjoyed my almost tennis related blogs about tennis, I hope to contribute more in the future!
(ahem.. Davis Cup is coming up, just throwing that out there.)

Great Britain F1 Glasgow | Day Two

I one hundred percent think that therapists should send their patients to Futures tournaments. I mean, nothing higher than Futures, since we all know that eventually, tennis causes alcoholism, but Futures… five hours of that today and I’m zen as fuck. Calm as a cucumber.
Might as well enjoy it, since when I return to Queen’s I’ll return to shaking and crying in the practice court bushes any time Roddick approaches the net.

My first match of the day was Mathieu Rodrigues (FRA) vs Kenny De Schepper (FRA). Uhh, I don’t know what’s happened to the French lately, but their names have gotten weird as hell. What ever happened to names like Simon, Monfils, Benneteau, Gasquet? They don’t even look French. The players I mean, their faces. It’s all very confusing. Confusing, and sexy.
I turned round at some point to see Eaton win his match behind me. I wasn’t even aware that he was playing, so I felt guilty and pleased simultaneously. Yet interestingly enough, I don’t think that counts as a guilty pleasure.
One to think about…

 

Mathieu Rodrigues. Like Verdasco, but much more accessible/corruptible.

Similar to Verdasco, I didn’t have very high hopes for this boy. Originally I did, but when I arrived and he was immediately 0-2 down, I figured today maybe just wasn’t his day. His somewhat less attractive countryman was stealing the show, and I don’t even know how. Because I don’t know much about tennis. I’m not going to lie, the match as a whole just wasn’t very exciting, and if it wasn’t two French players, I probably would have just walked away. Rodrigues became a profanity mumbling, racquet throwing fool and I left halfway through the second set to see Evans.

Also, I don’t mean to sound like a total girl, but I really do want to stress that those photographs do not do his face justice.
He had dark brown eyes the size of MY FISTS.
Anway, back to the tennis…

Evans was clearly too angry to bother giving anyone a match to watch. He powered through this like (…a racoon came into my head. He was much more powerful than a racoon), basically like someone who did not want to have his time wasted by Sablinsky and his mediocre attempts to beat him. I did love the fact that despite being 6-1 3-0 up, he still got all pissy with himself. Even when he’s pleased, he sounds like he’s so happy he has to go kneecap someone.


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My beloved readership: due to the fact that I’ll be racing around in a panic trying to get everything done ahead of my Wednesday-scheduled drive to Florida, not to mention the fact that I’ll actually be driving to Florida from Wednesday to Friday (blizzard permitting), I won’t be around here to coddle you with content in the way to which you’ve already clearly become accustomed.

So it pleases me greatly to announce that – by way of guilt-ridden compensation – I’ve enlisted the help of not just one, but two special guest contributors for the week!  Of course, I only have clearance to announce one of them at present.  The other is a not-so-closely-held secret (for now).

In the meantime, allow me to introduce the special guest-contributing stylings of Christina Marie (please hold your applause ’til the end of this post, OK?  I mean really, there’s no need to interrupt my flow with your childishly premature exclamations right now), a tennis maven and photographer extraordinaire who’ll be providing courtside coverage of the Great Britain F1 Futures event in Glasgow all the livelong week.

The $15K tournament, one of only two 15K’s on the calendar for the week (the other being China – I’m still looking for correspondents there), promises to be a most excellent event.  Uladzimir Ignatik has hopped a plane fresh (?) from his quarterfinal appearance in the Sao Paulo Challenger to be the top seed here, joining the remaining seeds Alexandre Sidorenko, Michael Ryderstedt, Harri Heliovaara, Dan Evans, Jamie Baker, Juho Paukku and Mathieu Rodrigues, in that order.

Iggy Plays…

But you may not see any of those people here (well, maybe Mathieu Rodrigues), as my special guest has been known to favor the French at times.  But she’s got the green light to cover whatever she damn well pleases.  I don’t see any of you going out and getting special Glaswegian artists to please you with content free of charge, after all.  So please be nice.  You may whet your appetite with Tuesday’s order of play here.

Oh, and you may now applaud.

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