OK. Here’s what I know. Erstwhile Australian Nick Lindahl has parted ways with the Commonwealth Star and the Southern Cross, and is now playing under the gold Scandinavian cross of the Swedish flag.

Meanwhile, there’s talk that current Swede and 19-year-old prodigy Christian Lindell is strongly considering a switch to Brazil in 2011.

All of which leads me to conclude one thing, which seems quite irrefutable: if you’re a player whose surname contains a L-nd-l letter pattern of some sort, you’re clearly planning a defection of your own – either from Sweden or away from Sweden.  The pattern is evident; you don’t need to be Tom Hanks in the Da Vinci Code to figure this shizz out.

So Inigo Landaluce, an 18-year-old from Spain, will clearly be The Next New Swede based on this pattern/pandemic. Don’t even try to deny it, Inigo – I’m on to you! And what country will you play for, 21-year-old Andreas Lindell (no relation), if not Sweden? I know you’re planning something! And what of American Benjamin Lundell (about whom no information is known at all)? Is he now hiding away in Sweden somewhere, awaiting citizenship (whoever he is)?

Now, as disturbing as all of this already is, can you even imagine if such a trend had been underway in the 80’s? Ivan Lendl would’ve defected to the Swedes and joined the likes of Stefan Edberg and Mats Wilander!

See? He’s in a blue shirt! He must’ve already got the L-nd-l memo this year!

How scary would the Swedish Davis Cup team have been then, I ask you? Now I hope you go and have a good long think about all of this, because it’s very important stuff.