Kenny De Schepper (FRA) vs Alexandre Sidorenko (FRA)

I arrived late, this time with absolutely no excuse. I called Scotstoun in the morning, asking for the Order Of Play, although they didn’t quite believe me when I told them that it was in fact not up on the website. Because you know, I just get kicks out of calling people up and pretending they’ve made a minor error.

So, I knew the start times, I purposely didn’t go out the night before, and I still arrived at 4-4. I was immediately reminded that Sidorenko was the one who looks like a member of some sort of Russian mob. He’ll start with your thumbs.

A few other things I immediately noticed on arrival:

  • It was very, very quiet. Blissfully quiet. The tournament is generally very loud throughout the week because it’s an indoor hall, lots of chumps and line judges shouting at the same time, lots of players screaming out in anger, and the spectators just generally walking and talking as they please. But today, silence.
  • Sharky.
  • There were actually a lot of people there. There were people in the stands who weren’t coaches, other players, or me. Actual normal people from Glasgow who came to watch the tennis. I liked this for about 4 seconds before they began to get on my nerves.

De Schepper broke at 5-5 to take the first set 7-5. Sidorenko woefully mumbled something in French and sat down, looking frightening as ever.

I had a DIE HARD SIDORENKO FAN sitting behind me for this match, who taught me many a thing about my future as a tennis fan. For example, I now know never to shout ‘ALLEZ!’, because as a Scottish person, it sounds fucking ridiculous. Also, it is not necessary to shout ‘OUI!’ if you are trying to convey your delight at a shot. They still understand ‘Yes’, and again, you’re Scottish, so it doesn’t even sound like you’re saying ‘YES!’ anyway. Shush.

I tried really, really hard to find any sort of like, techniques, or something, that they were doing. All I could really come up with or notice was that De Schepper was coming up with a hell of a lot of impressive winners, where as Sidorenko seemed to just wait around for him to make a mistake, usually having to take him to a long rally (something I hadn’t seen much of this week until the final). Both were pretty decent servers, too. I mean, De Schepper is… uh, really tall. His height doesn’t appear to be on the internet anywhere. I wrote on my big girl notepad that I’d like to know what the ace count from both of them was.

And then, something exciting happened.
I spotted Mathieu Rodrigues. For about three seconds, and then he disappeared.
5 games or so later, he still hadn’t resurfaced. I wondered if I was hallucinating low ranked French tennis players again. But voila! He appears with a friend and sits directly in front of me.
I was momentarily distracted at 4-5 due to attempting to read his texts over his shoulder, hoping that they read ‘OMG that girl is here, should I propose now or later?’. I snapped out of it when De Schepper smashed a ball into the net and looked genuinely frightened and confused about it.

De Schepper broke at 5-5 again, thanks to a painfully cruel net cord. One of those ones where the ball ever so slowly rolls over and there’s nothing you can do about it but cry and hope you’re dreaming.
“That’s pish.”, says the crowd.

De Schepper wins 7-5 7-5, raises his arms in victory and walks to the net to shake hands. A photo opportunity that I missed thanks to Rodrigues’ mate’s head.

Ann Widdecombe ran on court and just started giving people teddy bears.

Kenny is feigning appreciation of his rubbish prize rather well. Alexandre, on the other hand, was not impressed. Rodrigues was absolutely adorable at this point, as he kept making De Schepper laugh while he was supposed to be paying attention to the announcer and other important ceremonial things.

Cheer up, Sid.

I stayed for some of the women’s doubles final, simply because Sharky was chumping. Unfortunately, my battery ran out a few games in, and I left shortly after.
A very successful week at the tennis overall. Not so much for the British, but for the French. Good enough for me.

Teodora Mircic, I think.

I hope you have enjoyed my almost tennis related blogs about tennis, I hope to contribute more in the future!
(ahem.. Davis Cup is coming up, just throwing that out there.)